你的快乐，就是我的快乐

“我们的上司，还ｏｋ吗？”　新来的经理战战兢兢地问我们。

“像天气。”　工作了十年的莫经理回答。
我迟疑了一阵，说“我们的上司提供很好的训练，将来无论你去到哪里，都没问题了。”
“哈哈你怎么迟疑了。。。而且你说的太圆滑了！”　另一个新男同事说。

我才加入这间公司１０个月，部门的同事却几乎每个月走了一个，如今同事全都来了个大洗牌，来了８个新同事，包括助理、执行员、副理和经理。而我，莫名其妙，变成了“老鸟”，新同事都在问我关于公司文化、上司喜好等等。

对于这一切改变，真的很令人错愕。反过来思考，这对我为尝不是件好事。因为我知道，作为部门最新的人，并不是很好的感觉。

昨天新旧同事们一起吃午餐，而上司出外工干了，大伙难得放松谈天，讨论起这里的工作状况来了。大家左一句、右一句，看的出来，新同事真的被我们吓坏了，对于公干的总经理，抱着忐忑不安的心情。我也不知道，这种预告，对他们而言，是不是好事。也许提前作心理准备是好事，但是从此建立了一种偏见，也可能不是件好事。

我加入的时候，并没有任何预告。对于上司的作风，我可是亲身经历了才学乖。对于这个总经理，我对他的心情，是五味杂全的。

他的能干有魄力、清晰有条理的思绪、认真要求完美的心态、聪慧的生意头脑、营养知识的渊博、做决定的果断、神速的领悟力，令我心悦诚服，誓要追寻。一个强势聪明的上司，可以让下属突飞猛进，快速成长。他给你的方向，是清晰的，是绝对的。

他要你思考不盲从，他要你追上他的步伐，以他的程度方式思考做事。他很注重汇报工作，他需要时时掌握你的进度。同时，他也爱恨分明，性格刚烈。他愤怒的时候，火焰滠入办公室各角。你看不见他，却可以在空气里感受到他的情绪，这种情绪，好像电波磁场，影响着你的心情，你快乐不起来。当电话响起，显现出他的名字，那一秒，你的心跳不是停止，就是加速。当你接下电话，从他喊你名字的方式，你就可以知道他的心情，你的命运。

因此，如果你没有一定的资质，你会窒息。

然而，当他称赞你的时候，你会觉得自己在九霄云外，精神气爽。你会觉得一切都值得，只要他一个眼神的肯定。他的能力很强，因此被这样一个人称赞，是一种无法言喻的满足。

他骂人的时候，声音从房里飘出，在座的所有同事都会把皮绷得超紧，坐如针毯，祈祷着自己不会中招。因为城门失火，殃及池鱼。

面对这样一个上司，岂是 ok 不 ok可以表达呢？

Top 10 Reasons Why Good Employees Quit

I came across this article and think it is very true. For sharing purpose:




Top 10 Reasons Why Good Employees Quit
By Shel Myeroff


According to the US Department of Labor and Statistics, turnover can cost an organization 33% of an employee’s total compensation including both salary and benefits. But the impact is not only financial it also affects employee morale. Therefore, it would be prudent for hiring managers to focus on reducing turnover rates but in order to do that they must first understand the reasons why employees quit.

There have been many studies and articles written on why good employees leave their current positions. As a veteran search consultant, I have heard an infinite number of reasons first hand. Over the years, I have identified and compiled a list of what I feel are the “Top Ten” reasons why good employees quit:

1) The job was not as expected. All too often the job changes from the original description and what was promised during the interviewing stages. It becomes painfully clear to the new hire that their new company played the bait and switch game which ultimately leads to mistrust. The new hire is now thinking, “What else are they lying about?”

2) Work/Life imbalance. There are times when management demands that one person do the jobs of two or more people. This is especially true when a company downsizes or restructures resulting in longer hours and possible weekend work. Employees are often forced to choose between a personal life and a career.

3) Mismatch between job and new hire. No matter how much you love the candidate, don’t hire them unless they are truly qualified for the job and they mesh with your company culture. Too many times, I’ve seen hiring managers try to fit a square peg into a round hole especially when it comes to a sales position.

4) Management freezes raises and promotions. Money isn’t usually the first reason why people leave an organization but it does rank especially when an employee can find a job earning 20-25% more somewhere else. Make sure your wages are competitive and your benefits package is attractive. Resources like www.salary.com can provide accurate and appropriate information.

5) Feeling undervalued. It’s human nature to want to be recognized and praised for a job well done. And in business, recognizing employees is not simply a nice thing to do but an effective way to communicate your appreciation for their efforts and successes while also reinforcing those actions and behaviors that make a difference in your organization.

6) Lack of decision-making power. Too many managers micromanage down to the finest detail. Empower your employees and allow them the freedom make suggestions and decisions. I realize that Empowerment is a ‘catch-all’ term for many ideas on employee authority and responsibility; but as a broad definition it means giving employees latitude to do their jobs and placing trust in them.

7) Too little coaching & feedback. Many managers have no clue on how to help employees improve their performance. In addition, many managers put off giving feedback to employees even though they instinctively know that giving and getting honest feedback is essential for growth and in building successful teams and organizations. Your role as a manager is to help your people find the right behavior, not just tell them what to do.

8) Management lacks people skills. Remember that many managers were promoted because they did their first job well, but that doesn’t mean they know how to lead others. People skills can be learned and developed but it really helps if a manager has the natural ability to get along with people and motivate them.

9) Too few growth opportunities. One of the most common reasons employees express for leaving their jobs is lack of challenge and potential for career growth. The most successful employers find ways to help employees develop new skills and responsibilities in their current positions.

10) Loss of faith and confidence in corporate leaders. With employees being asked to do more and more, they see less evidence that they will share in the fruits of their successes. More often than not, when revenues and profits are up, employers are still thinking competitive wages but employees are thinking bonuses, stock options and creative development opportunities.

They came all the way from Hokkaido

Office life could be plain dull and not exciting at times.
Pressure from the superior,
Never finished tasks,
Changes to your already familiar job scope,
Sometimes I start wondering the meaning of life...


It had been half a year since I started working for my current company. It is not an MNC, but considered very established with business crossing several countries, being well-known in Malaysia, Hong Kong and Taiwan. As I am in the product development department for health foods, we are constantly approached by suppliers, proposing products to us, and followed by business talks that lasts for hours.


I am still new to the company, thus, I really don't have much experience on talking face-to-face with suppliers, especially Foreign Suppliers! Yesterday, 2 Japanese suppliers flew all the way from Hokkaido to my office to have a session with my GM and I, wanting to discuss about 2 on-going projects. It was the 1st time I spent time with Japanese, though I had seen Japanese dramas for ages.


1 of them, Kohei, is a phD holder , standing all tall, confident and witty. He doesn't look Japanese, but like an American born Chinese. I later learned that he worked as research lecturer in Nebraska for several years before coming back to Japan. The other one, Takashi, has the classic Japanese appearance, and he totally reminds me of the Crown Prince Naruhito. They presented us with some small gifts, nicely wrapped green tea and lavender essence. Japanese has one of the prettiest packaging, and I love it! 


We talked business for 2 hours. They were wearing tux and ties, being all formal, which is predicted. My GM is a smart & quick lady, she has a business mind, fast to pick up hints/clues/opportunies in each word uttered by suppliers. The day before, I had informed her about the inconclusive and less than convincing lab report supplier had sent to us on the product efficacy. I didn't expect her to talk about that matter 1st thing in the meeting. But that truly made the suppliers nervous. I had to gave her credit for such a choice. Kohei took out his handkerchief and started wiping his forehead. Later on, he removed his coat. I suppressed a grin, my GM clearly could make a man nervous! Even a Dr!


It is tradition I guess, for us to have lunch with suppliers. This is the time to try out nice and expensive food. But it is not a time to enjoy, because that's a business lunch. I hate this kind of meals actually, this is when the superior keeps on judging on your behaviour and performance, leaving me with no more appetite. So 3 females (me, GM, Senior Manager) ate together with 6 men (Japanese + Americans). When the main course arrived, GM and Senior Manager started spooning dishes into our suppliers' plates, playing host. For a minute, I was wondering whether I should follow suit , but I held my ground, because I was worried of making a mess amidst the spooning act eg. dropping dishes half way on the table blah blah, that would be embarrasing. But GM spoke to me in Cantonese : Samantha, start working! That was her way of telling you, serve the suppliers & start spooning dishes for them. I did as instructed. But I must admit, it's funny to be serving men who are so much older than I am. 


Communication was all in English. But it isn't easy to understand their English, due to accent. Sometimes they sound Japanese, even though they are speaking in English. But overall, I really like them, my Japanese suppliers. They are different from Malaysians, but not totally different,  like Westerners. We talked about non-business things over the meal. Sometimes we run out of things to say, and the table turns quiet. There goes the art of socialising. It is challenging actually. 


The old Japanese gentleman beside me tried to make conversations. He asked me about my Zodiac! He actually knows about the 12 animals and each year represented by a different animal zodiac. I knew then he wanted to guess my age, well, not a problem. I told him I am born in the Tiger year. And he was counting on his fingers straight away, successfully guess on my age. Then he asked whether I am single. Well, it doesn't sound that strange when it is asked by a grandfatherly man in 70s. He then pointed to Takashi on my other side, saying, "He is single". Lol! 


After lunch, the suppliers stayed in our office , since they flight is late at night. I were to have dinner with them as well, meaning OT. This round, we let them tried typical Malaysian food such as Nasi Lemak, Fried Kuey Tiao, Prawn Mee, Asam Laksa, ABC, Chendol, Otak-otak and Bubu caca. These food are so typical, that I really wont have a second look at them. But Japanese isn't familiar with these food. And it was cute listening to my Senior Manager explaning about each dish to them, what it is made of, how does it taste blah blah. I really need to learn the art of being a good host, cause I didn't think about explaining the dishes at all. Believe me, it is totally not easy, when you want to explain and describe your everyday food, from another person's view. 


At night after dinner, we had some group photoes and I waved them off in front of my office building. They were heading towards the airport. Guess what, they would arrive Tokyo in the morning. And they had go enter the office straight to work! If I were them, I would surely take a day's leave :P! I need to salute to their professional etique . 


Their visit seems like a fresh flow of spring into the dull office life. If only my company will send me to Hokkaido for a visit ..... Well, extremely unlikely.

叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留

叶子的离开，是因为风的追求，还是树的不挽留？

这是蛮经典著名的一句话，通常用来形容感情，可是现在觉得，用来形容职场也蛮贴切。

可能可以这么说，

叶子的离开，是因为风的果断追求，再加上树的微弱挽留。

坦白说，我真的很喜欢我的工作，当营养师是一个备受尊重的工作，大家都以很客气的口吻向你请教，之后真诚向你致谢。而工作的主要范围离不开给讲座，这是我的兴趣，也是我训练已久的强项,每一场成功的讲座都带给了我满满的成就感。上班的公司，更是装修得美轮美奂，玻璃高楼、绿意怏然的环境、五星级的室内设计，非常养眼。公司的同事们更是无可挑剔的友善易相处，而且大家年龄相近，犹如大学同学们一样,也没什么阶级代沟。上司对我的评语也不错，时不时也给予言语上的表扬。

出差砂州天鹅城 Working trip to Sibu

This blog entry was about my work trip to Sibu, Sarawak dated 30/4 - 2/5. Although it is 2 months late, this is one of those memory I wish to keep for long term. Writing it down could somehow make a memory lasts and stays vivid. April was a crazy month for me, I was sent flying to Sarawak 3 times within that month, under the name of health checks and health talks. I could still remember grumbling and resenting innerly of how inconsiderate my company was, monopolising 3 my consecutive weekends, disregarding my health condition ( I was coughing nonstop for 2 months) and personal time . Now that when I look back, the 3 trips to Sarawak marked the happiest memory of my 1 year career with Melilea International. My colleagues couldn't understand my affection for Sarawak, I couldn't really explain it myself, perhaps it was the nature and people that made Sarawak dear to me. Little did I know that it was my last time going to Sarawak as Melilea Nutritionist.

出差砂州黄梨城和石油城 (Sarikei & Miri Work Trip)

这是发生在 22 - 24 April 的出差故事。之前太忙碌，搞得2个月后才分享。这是我在四月份，第二次出差去砂劳越。一如去kuching一样，那次我们营养师团队也是为了为当地客户作健康检查，所以飘洋过海咯。常常出差很累，但是看在是砂劳越的份上，我去得很愿意哦。

当时的目的地是 Sarikei 以及 Miri。Sarikei 是一个小镇，没有飞机场，所以我们需要在诗巫降落, 在坐一个小时车前往这个黄梨镇。工作了一整天，检查了无数人后，终于可以到附近走走了。这是出差唯一的高潮，可以让我享受当地风土人情，吃吃道地美食。毕竟公司付给我们的出差费，只够吃三餐，没钱可赚，如果去沙巴，可能还要倒贴哦。

时光逆流，我们都没毕业

大学同学两个月前就开始邀约趁着国家元首生日假期，一同去马六甲聚会玩耍。对于这班两年没见的活动伙伴，我有点犹豫，不知该不该去。因为，我很害怕我会失望，如果很生疏，我会很难受。而且，对于我这个常常星期天工作的我来说，难得周末不需要工作，很想在家里做懒惰虫。但是，看着出席名单很踊跃，而我已经是最后一个没有跟大家确定的人了，终于我下决心请假，随同学们去马六甲了。

做不成男女朋友，做個特別的朋友

在网上看到这篇文章，觉得蛮有意思，再次分享。


兩個可能彼此相愛、喜歡的人，
但是，又不屬於友情、愛情、親情中的任何一種，
彼此不能成為男女朋友，只能做個特別的朋友……

也許是為了朋友之間的義氣，不能歸屬。
也許是為了顧及家人的意見，不能歸位。
也許是為了自己的前程，不能承諾。
也許是相遇太早，還不懂得珍惜對方。
也許是相遇太晚，彼此身邊已經有了另一個人。
也許是回頭太遲，對方已不再等待。
也許彼此在捉摸對方的心，而遲遲無法跨出界線……

出差砂州猫咪城 (Kuching Work Trip)

Though I am a Malaysian, I have not step foot on the land of Sarawak til I am 21 years old. It was a family trip to Miri and Mulu. The mountains, caves, rivers, forests and greenery Sarawak has to offer is something very refreshing to the eye and soul of a KL girl.

It never occur to me that I would then visit Sarawak continously 3 times within a month due to work. It is kinda funny for someone who rarely travel by plane like me, would be heading to airport every week that month. Though it is tiring to be flying so frequently, the Sarawak experience was love at first sight.

My current company has quite a few branches at Sarawak and Sabah, as there are no nutritionists based at East Malaysia, the headquarter nutritionist team was asked to support the heath check roadshow at Kuching, Miri and Sarikei.

Nutritionist uniform while performing health check

初尝走红滋味

工作一年，我的部落格也荒废了近一年。回想过去，我曾经落足心思在这个部落格哦！生活中常有许多小故事想在这里分享，但是往往工作回家，人类累了，周末常常需要支援公司event,要坐下来慢慢写一篇文章，真的力不从心。然而，令我感到窝心的是，荒废的部落格仍然有人来留言哪！接下来，我想要分享我这一年来当营养师的点滴，在众人眼里，我的工作是光芒四射，很刺激，非常glamarous的一份工作。也对的。不过，背后的代价，就是无数个working weekends，几乎没有私生活了咯。


台上五分钟，台下十年功。
这句话，真的很对哦。
在我的状况来说，应该是，
台上半小时，
台下十八年功。


一堂讲座 “健康美丽的保鲜之道” 让我有机会在吉隆坡、柔佛新山、新加坡、砂捞越古晋、诗巫和沙巴大放光彩。


给营养和产品讲座，是营养师的主要工作范围。但是由于旧的题材，一用再用，很多时候，经销商和听众也感到没有新鲜感了。但是呢，讲课方式有不可以过于学术，让人觉得在上课，要生动却又要有业绩效果。也是机缘巧合，我和业务公关刘经理合作上了，一起制作了“健康美丽的保鲜之道” 的power point slides 还有细心研究了整个讲座的 flow，调整了一个月后，正式开讲。

A job with conscience

I have been joining the work force for almost 4 months now. University life seems like a life time away. Yet somehow, my current working environment and condition makes me feel like still being in school.

The restrictions on costume and hairstyle are like the disciplines in school. Tie up your hair, wear black colour pants or skirt, wear black high heel, wear colours that are not too bright....

We nutritionist team stays stuck together everyday as the rest of the departments are still being housed at the Melaka office. My senior nutritionist is just like a senior in school. In fact she was truly a UKM Food Science & nutrition senior years ago. Perhaps I am fortunate to have her as guidance, since she is like a mother to us at office, making sure we don't commit fatal mistakes and kiss our career path bye bye.

My major job is giving health talks, that is like giving presentations in university to fellow coursemates and professors. Power point is still being used. The only difference being, my audiences are now adults in black tux and they might not have science background. They are distributors, so they aren't really interested in the science theories most of the time. They are more interested to be told on how to sell the product and earn money.

During my university years, I joined the Study Guidance Sheng Xue group. We always had events and we had committee and everyone has a job on that day. It is funny now that in the working world, things work exactly the same as back in uni. We had an organic baby grand final contest in Prince Hotel yesterday. 20 over staffs were supporting the event. We had briefing from coordinator, we set up registration counter, we had sales team, we had ushers blah blah. Staffs were all working together, even the manager level staffs were involved and wore the same costume.

The tricky part of working as a nutritionist in a direct sales company is that, you must HOLD FIRM TO YOUR CONSCIENCE AND MORAL VALUES. So many times, I felt like I am losing it when the distributors are using cunning techniques to scare their customers into buying the health products they do not need.

Some of the distributors had been with the company for years. They thought after hearing a few health talks from the company would make them wiser. And us nutritionists being young and just joined the company shortly, they tried to influence or stay involve when we are giving health consultation to the customers. When I advised on customers about how to take care of their liver, since most of the time it's due to their lack of sleep, the distributors would be there screaming the name of the 'liver product' . Each time after performing health check, I could almost see their DISAPPONTMENTS when the result showed that their customers were in good health. And you could see them smirking innerly if the result was bad, cause that would be golden time to sell products.

Few days ago, I was really angry.

Could the company's soya powder replace milk powder as infants' food?

That was asked by the distributor.

I told her if the baby hasn't started eating solid food and still at the stage that depends solely on milk, soya alone couldn't supply all the nutrients needed. That milk is still needed.

That was where things went wrong. The distributor went to ask another of my colleague nutritionist and she got the same answer. She was mad, asking who trained you ppl? Your nutritionist reported in the newspaper a few years ago, saying soya could replace cow's milk as infant food !

U know why she is so mad? Cause my statement would affect her business.

Later on, our senior nutritionist advised us, that babies below 6 months should be encouraged to drink mother's milk. Baby that had started taking solid food can drink soya because they have nutrient sources from other food. Our company indeed had educated the distributors that soya's milk is more superior than cow's milk in term of nutrients and proteins.

But the thing is, nobody told them that the condition is :

If it is a baby formula soya milk, then it can replace the baby formula cow milk.

But now we are talking about baby formula cow milk and our company's soya milk, of course the latter isn't more superior than the former. Baby formula cow milk is specially designed for infants, fortified and enriched with numerous nutrients and vitamins. It is processed differently, taking into consideration of infants' fragile digestive systems. Our company's soya formula is not specially meant for babies , but just as a drink for normal people who are usually adults. Just plain soya without any fortification or enrichments. How could this replace baby formula milk as the infants' only food?

It brings me horror, knowing that some babies are not being fed the nutrient rich milk they need, but fed with just plain soya , due to the lack of education and the misleading information from distributors.

So, always filter the information given to you by Direct Sales distributors. That is the advice given by our senior nutritionist.

Work aside, these are the things that give me comfort.

This is the set of sofa in one of our company branches. I love it. Cuddling with a book on the sofa, it is like being embraced in a warm hug.

This is the bakery shop below my company's building. It is beautiful to begin my morning with a mug of nice coffee, freshly baked pastry and a good book, on a nice rattan chair, with a morning view of the road.

I found this shop in Times Square. This little roasted chicky is very delicious and cost only RM4 ! The juice beside gives you multiple different sensations as it rolls down your tongue.

Vietnam food with beautiful arrangement. It is great to be alive.

营养师

从小到大，我都有种憧憬。

想象自己一身标准事业女性的打扮，潇洒踏入漂亮高耸的建筑物展开一天的工作。

这一个梦想，实现了。

在面试的时候，我并不知道自己将会在这种环境工作。因为这是公司刚购买的新楼。我第一次踏步到这里，我就爱上了这个地方。这是一见钟情的感觉。完全由玻璃建成的大厦，散发着全然不同的感觉，有点优雅又不失时尚。从公司里头

，可以看见外头的风景。

营养师，是我现在的称号。

我喜欢这个职业，也喜欢人们对这工作的敬意。

再怎样也是一间直销公司，所以对于员工的穿着打扮非常注重。

在这里，必须化妆、必须穿丝袜黑色高跟鞋、必须绑起头发。若是在给讲座的时候，必须穿上黑色西装外套。这一切对我而言，是陌生的。

公司售卖营养有机食品、化妆品、护肤品甚至是家庭用品。营养师要兼顾化妆和护肤品。我真的是个门外汉，只能快步学习。直销公司里，distributors 就是我们的皇帝。靠他们，货品才能销出去，我们才能有薪水。在这里会发现，每个人都衣冠楚楚，没有丑女人。就算是中年女人，他们仍然明艳照人，令我觉得自叹不如。

有时候，你的每一个选择决定，真的会影响你的生活方式。在这样的一个上班环境，我发现我必须时时刻刻look my best。在这里，如果你邋遢，就像是在学校里犯了纪律规则一样，会被说的。所以，我开始脱胎换骨。我的同事们都是样貌清丽的女生。如今我们一起去吃午餐的时候，许多人的目光会注视着我们。原来，这就是打扮和office wear 的魅力。

一个月内，我给了三次讲座。听众有许多年轻人，也有许多比我年长的前辈。我的第一次讲座，有接近两百人。那一次对我而言，是别开生面的讲座。因为，所有在场的观众们全都是西装笔挺，衣冠楚楚，场面很吓人，对我这个社会新鲜人而言，是很震撼的场面。我从来没有出席过任何场面是全部人穿西装的哦。

这是我在公司第一次给产品讲座的场地。

而这是在波德申海边一间酒店给讲座的场地。是一个专门为女人而办的美丽健康营。我最压力的一场讲座，因为全是女人在听。而女人的要求，是很高的。

在这里，我体验了许多大学时候没法体验的事情。我真的希望我可以在这间公司发光发热，找到属于我的事业。

执子之手，与子偕老

无意间看见了这首诗,诗词间情意绵绵,无限唯美。那股情深义重，让人无法不迷恋。在此分享。


谁，执我之手，敛我半世癫狂；
谁，吻我之眸，遮我半世流离；
谁，抚我之面，慰我半世哀伤；
谁，携我之心，融我半世冰霜；
谁，扶我之肩，驱我一世沉寂。
谁，唤我之心，掩我一生凌轹。

谁，弃我而去，留我一世独殇；
谁，可明我意，使我此生无憾；
谁，可助我臂，纵横万载无双；
谁，可倾我心，寸土恰似虚弥；
谁，可葬吾怆，笑天地虚妄，吾心狂。

伊，覆我之唇，祛我前世流离；
伊，揽我之怀，除我前世轻浮。

执子之手，陪你痴狂千生；
深吻子眸，伴你万世轮回。

执子之手，共你一世风霜；
吻子之眸，赠你一世深情。

我， 牵尔玉手， 收你此生所有；
我， 抚尔秀颈， 挡你此生风雨。

予，挽子青丝，挽子一世情思；
予，执子之手，共赴一世情长；
曾，以父之名，免你一生哀愁；
曾，怜子之情，祝你一生平安!

I wish I am the best you ever met

It is always a bitter-sweet feeling.

You feel happy for him, but simulataneously you couldn't suppress a feeling of loss. A loss I have no right of feeling. Because I am the one who had leave it unclaimed.

This isn't the first time I am faced with these kind of circumstances. It happens pretty often these few years. Perhaps I should feel blessed and disregard the sense of loss, because I was once, the center of their attentions.

An admirer is a person who showers you with affection, attention, concerns and you name it. They started their pursue on you, with the sole intention of winning your heart. Each pursue has a time limit. Usually lasts from a couple of months to 1 year. After that period of time, some of them would disappear from your life for once and for all. You wondered if everything had been a dream. Some would remain, but keep a distance on the outer circumference of your social circle.

Being admired is the most wonderful feeling. But if you couldn't return the affection, then you shouldn't keep it. It is only fair to let the admirer knows where they stand and encourage them to move on.

And they usually do move on. This is where the tricky part comes in. I sincerely feel happy for them, because they are great guys who deserved to be loved back in the same magnitude they are capable of loving. I wont want them to waste their life loitering around me when I couldn't return their affection. But when I do heard of their new gfs, when the couple photoes come in, when they stop contacting you, man it is a very weird feeling I get.

Maybe boys differentiate courtship and friendship better than I do. Always when I thought I have found a soulmate, the guy thought he had found a potential gf. A friendship with boys will usually change when he starts liking you, or when he starts seeing a girl. The friendship gets tuned down when he has a gf. This is understandable, but sad too. I am just naive to think that friendships with boys will never change.

Do I treat my male friends differently after I myself am in a relationship? Do my bf treat the girls differently after he is committed to me ? I am unsure of these myself.

However, it always warm my heart when I receive phone calls or sms from ex-admirers once in a blue moon, asking me how do I do. These are innocent calls without courting intentions, some of them are now happily in their new relationships, but somehow in their hearts, there is a tiny space for you, wishing you well. This knowledge alone touches me tremendously. And this is for the best, for them, and for me.

But I know :) , though they have moved on, I will always hope that I am the best girl they ever met in their lives.

象牙宝贝

昨天下午，我的论文终于装订好了，可以正式成交给大学。

一共装订了3本，一本给大学，一本给教授，一本作为自己的纪念收藏。

等待这一刻真的好久了！这是一种释放与解脱。

大学生涯四年，做论文这一年是精神上最煎熬的一年。现在，我可以告别皇太后教授，不用再过伴君如伴虎的生活了。第四年对我而言，并不是顺利的一年，有很多的大起大落，经历了不少考验我的EQ的事情。做论文的过程，似乎在逼着一个人快速成长。我必须要学习接洽人事物，学习调整心情。有些人你不想见，但必须见。有些事你不想做，但是必须做。有些人你宁愿敬而远之，但是你不得以，必须谦卑地拜托他帮你的忙。

这一本论文，108页的心血，将是永远的回忆，也是我的骄傲。

我的喜悦泉源

放假咯！在六月开始工作前，我要好好享受我难得的轻松日子。

大多数人放松的方式就是往外跑，去逛街。

偶尔去逛街我当然喜欢，但是逛街也总是花不少钱。Window Shopping 的快感很有限。

因此，我最喜欢的放松方式就是阅读小说。前天到中央艺术坊的书店租借了8本英文小说。满载而归，开心极了！用购买一本书的价钱，可以阅读8本书，多值得啊。我的假期，就是要闭馆看书咯。朋友说，要他这样过日子，他会死哦。要我天天往外跑，我也会死咯。

看看我的收获吧！全都是我最喜爱的作家。

攀向象牙塔顶端

大学毕业在即，教育之路，走着走着，似乎来到了一个尽头。

之前的人生之路，有固定的模式，几乎每个人都是小学、中学、大学。

大学毕业后，突然没有固定的模式了，一切决定选择，就是看你个人的抉择。

你进入不同的公司，就会有不同的机遇。从此所遇上的人、事、物将影响着你的生活以及未来的路。人生的每一个决定都息息相关，生活也是一连串的选择所创造出来的结果。

回想着当初，如果不是憧憬大学校园生活，也不会恨下心选择一个明知难走却硬要走的中六生涯。这一个选择令我如愿以偿进入政府大学，感受了私立大专所没有的大学活动以及青葱校园。

这几个月一直想着找份好工作并开始攀爬企业阶梯。一连串的面试不仅令我疲惫，更有点灰心。也许，我一直在往钱看，寻找着一个有潜力的工作。看来我这个领域的毕业生，起薪就是两千。我开始在想，五年后，我的薪水能够去到什么阶段？就算当上了个品质管理/生产线/研发部经理，那个数目也大概预算得到。我不是想要一步登天，我只是在想着如何让努力与成果平等。

两千块，买你一个星期五天半，大概每天九个小时,不包括路上的时间。那天的一个面试，我的面试官是比我大10届的学姐，在那里工作了8年，现在是QC Manager。多巧，与我来自同一间大学，有着同一个论文教授。他告诉我，他们通常工作12小时，7:30am-7:30pm。有时候加班至九点多。两千块，买你一天12小时。这也许是每个在生产线工作的人的状况，但也是一个相当苛刻的情况。真的要在这种工作中让年华老去？

优异的学业一直让我引以为荣，但是在职场上并没有让我占优势。面试官好几个称赞我成绩很好，但是这成绩并没有为我带来比别人多一两百块的薪水。

那天去career fair usm booth, 我发现好成绩有一个很大的好处。只要你有着一等荣誉学士学位成绩，你可以直接跳去博士班，同时也可以申请理大的免服务奖学金，让你免费读书，甚至付你每个月等同工作的生活费。这一个发现，让我很震撼，也很感慨。人家付你钱请你读书？你每天还有自己的时间。3年后出来，今非恺比，有着学识地位、社会地位、薪水绝对比现在高一倍。年龄也当然更高。一直觉得读博士很辛苦，但是工作也是辛苦啊，哪一种辛苦更为值得呢？

我这几个月，要好好考虑我的人生方向。因为很多的抉择，都不容回头。

论文妄想症

呕心沥血了一年，终于算是完成了论文，差不多有一百页。明天打算送到去大学让我的皇太后教授过目，后个星期就要正式成交了。希望没有太多的改正，我已经没什么力气了。Viva presentation 过后，我的大学生涯也告一段落。

我现在有种妄想症，或是一种担忧，或是杞人忧天，就是突然一天家里进贼，把我的电脑偷走了，让我丧失所有的论文纪录。或是我储存的资料全部遗失。若是要我重新写过一次论文，真的是要去撞墙。

也许你会说，你没有 back up 的吗？有啊，back up 了三个pendrive ，但是论文一天没有以完整的 hard copy 方式 bind 起来，就会有一种随时会不见的感觉。

真的别小看一本论文，它真是集合了我所有的辛酸与智慧，也是我的理性战胜情感的见证。

为什么这么说？因为当自己久未见面的男朋友从外国完成工作，从国际机场驾车来到大学找我的时候，我都必须强忍思念不马上与之见面，为的就是要完成手头上的蔬菜测试。Samples 不能留到明天，也不能收太久，否则成绩就不精准了。什么测试这么重要呢？

答案是插蔬菜！

这是一架 Texture Analyzer 。可以测试食物的柔软程度，脆度，坚硬度等等。这架宝贝价格不菲，可以买几辆国产车了。

为什么要测试蔬菜的柔软度呢？因为我要知道不同的煮法，对蔬菜的texture有任何影响。饮食界最重要的当然也是食物的可口程度。怎么测试呢？通过 Sensory Evaluation。我们必须以以下的方式将食物呈现给panels。他们不必知道这六个食物之间的分别。他们只需要按照我所订下的六个attributes来进行个人喜好打分。

1）颜色

2）气味

3）外貌

4）柔软度

5）味道

5）整体接受程度

羊角豆

Panels 就坐在对面箱子

看起来有点像是监狱的感觉吧？这是为了让panels能够主观的，不受其他人影响的情况下，公平评分。为了这个测试，我还真要感谢系友的协助。因为，没有加盐加油的蔬菜，口味确实很像在吃草。

求职之路

开始熟悉面试的运作方式了。

习惯了他们会问的问题。

也尝试了各种面试的座位摆设。

有的面对面隔一张大桌子，只看到你的上半身。

有的是L-shape, 像看医生。

有的坐在沙发上，看完你全身。

有的是面对面，隔着玻璃桌，也是看完你全身。

面试官可以是年轻人或是中年人，

有男有女。

如果给我选择，对我最有利的面试官，

毫无疑问，当然是年轻男人。

你别笑我尝试‘色诱’面试官以换取工作咯，我可是走智慧气质型路线的。但是在这现今的社会，异性相吸仍是不变的真理哦。同性之间的面试有着很奥的关系，要拿涅精准。

最压力的面试，就是在 High-5 面包厂的面试了。面试官是个快要告别‘年轻’又还没到达‘中年的女人。气氛好严肃。他问的全是大公司那种classical interview questions。

1）介绍自己

2）你有什么对我们公司有利的长处？

3）你对我们公司了解多少？

4）你会怎样分配时间以配合生产进度？

5）你对烘培的认识？平时有烘面包，蛋糕，煮饭？

6）你是如此的fresh,我们为什么要请你呢？

7）我们是project-based,有时候需要半夜回到工厂，你能够接受吗？

我为了这份工作，还特地去读怎样做面包还有烘培理论。我做的蛋糕都是pre-mixed的，好像不太算是做蛋糕吧。我不喜欢在厨房工作。这一切不重要，但是听到要夜晚回去那个大大的工厂，好可怕哦！

遇上年轻男面试官，气氛就显得较为融洽。在那个面试中，我与他谈了将近两个小时。他的问题不多。大概有：

1）什么是MLM company?

2) 你对我们公司有多了解？

3）你会害怕对群众演说吗？喜欢书写 nutritional articles吗?

4）你喜欢working with people? 你怎样跟不同的的人相处？

感觉上不太像是面试，因为到最后像是我在interview他了。到了最后，他跟我说：“你很接近是我们要找的人，你有性格、有信心，也有适合营养师的身材。” 说到这个样子，好像真的要请我那样。我开出的价钱，比他们的budget多了三百块。而我的开工日期，也比他们的需要迟了一个月半。他说要与上头商量，要我与他保持联络。五月份再与他商量。临走前，也给了我一个名片。这到底是怎样呢？不知道。但是，我特别想要这份工作。

至于遇上了中年面试官，uncle最喜欢跟我分享他的业绩，他的公司有多厉害，做他的职员又多大的成长空间。这个面试还需要我考试哦！一去到就给了我一份考卷，考卷名字叫做“Product Nutritionist"。这份考卷我做的很开心。其中有个问题我很喜欢：

Q: Define money. Define career. Money and career satisfaction, which is more important to you?

A:Money is a tool used in exchange for material needs and desires. The more money one has, the easier for him to fulfill his material needs and desires. Career isn't just a job. Career is a job with career opportunities and career prospectives, it allows personal development and growth. Career satisfaction is important to me because it will boost your self confidence and self-esteem. It gives meanings to life. However, career satisfaction could only be achieved on the foundation of sufficient money.

面试官当场阅读我的答案。一面看一面说“from the way you write, you seem like a very confident person. The flow of your writing is continuous, non-stop, very sure!" 我笑笑不语。

他问我怎么不说话，是否怕他认为我over-confident? 我能说什么，哪有人说“yes!yes! I am very confident!"

他问我"Since you are so confident, if I decided to hire you, can you decide today?"

姜是老的辣．都还没有开始面试，问这种问题．我说我无法当天确定，他问我"Why? Must be considering other job offers leh?"　

"No, this is my first job interview :)" 他不需要知道太多。说到最后，他看见我的开工日期，竟然说“哇，这么迟啊，那要看我们有没有缘分咯！”　有时候，那些面试你的人往往没有看过你的履历表，因为在看的都是他的书记或是人事部．明知道我的开工日期了，不看清楚就叫我来面试。

至于今天的面试，我必须准备一个 Power Point Presentation on Spirulina 。还有写一篇关于　Spirulina 的文章。这算是一个最多要求的面试了。也许是面试了好几次，麻木了。我没有誓在必得的心理，已经是平常心。可爱的是，这次的面试官是一对年轻夫妇。老婆负责问，老公负责对我说的话点头。Present 的时候，会发现老婆很严肃地注意看和听，没什么与我眼神交流。老公呢有眼神交流，频频点头。哈哈不知是在我的眼神压力下点头吗？还是真的在赞许？人很特别的地方是，如果你把注意力对着他说话，他会觉得有义务给你一些反应。老婆答应会在一星期内恢复我。这份工作也不错，但是公司才两岁，很新，有点怕怕。

每一次面试都是很劳累的过程。因为需要做功课哦，研究公司背景和产品特质。但是每一次的面试也是一种成长，可以和面试官分享食品界的心得。

人生十字路口

下个星期，有三个面试在等着我。如今的我健康亮起红灯，咳嗽真是面试的克星。我的思绪有点紊乱、对于将来何去何从，开始出现挣扎。心中有种不甘，却也是现实生活的无奈。

很可笑，当年我们全都在中六时期拼了老命，努力考取最优异的成绩，为的就是要挤进大学的门榄。我们不只是要进入大学，我们还要获取好的科系，以便能够在事业上有一番作为。

当年与我同班的中六同学，进入国立大学的没有几人。很多没法子获得心属科系，结果自掏腰包到私立或外国深造。而我自己，获得了第五个选择。当时看见被分派的科系名字，我的眼眶湿了，不是喜悦的眼泪，是失望的眼泪。头三项选择，Dietetics ， 挤不进去，第四个Nutrition 也是擦身而过。最终拿到的，是 Food Science & Nutrition。这不是一个专业科系，但是在大学里，也是需要高分录取的科系。这四年内，我们的课业总是比别人沉重，读起来相当吃力。一个学长的话让我印象深刻。“你们这些 Food Science的，读的时候比别人辛苦，出来赚的钱又不比人多。”

如今，这话开始应验了。出席了几个面试，我开始知道市场价钱。一个国民大学的食品科学与营养学文凭，最高竟然只值得两千块。有两间公司甚至打算以一千五雇用大学生。不用读书都可以赚这个数目了。有些人说，fresh grad 不值钱，是这样的啦，先累积经验吧。我赞成累积经验，但是再怎样也该有个底线吧，在吉隆坡生活，稍微两千出一点的薪水也不算过分吧。我也开始发现，管你读四年还是三年，科学还是商业，起薪差不多，商业系的甚至高出一些。这时候又想起另一个学长的话。“读书时候，你们科学的人看不起读商科的人，出来社会后，你们还要under他们呢！” 对啊，management level 的人，很多都是商业科系出生的。

我开始在想，升造修读博士，将来当个讲师，会否让我过着更有素质的生活？我绝对相信我的学术能力。只是，读了这么久的书，真的打从心底厌倦了，也在漏油了。而且我对实验有恐惧和抗拒感。想到要一个人在实验室研究三四年，那是多么孤单难耐啊。有人提议我工作一小段时候再回到校园。这个提议很实际，但是读书有时候需要一气呵成。停顿了，很难重拾那种心境。

爸爸也鼓励我走教育路线，他认为很适合女生。至于工作方面，爸爸觉得不要打一辈子工，学习够了，就要尝试自己创业。打工永远拿着一份固定薪水，就算有天当上了高层，薪水高，责任更加高。而且到了你退休那天，你什么都没有。经营自己的生意，哪怕是一间小店，资产永远是自己的，可以经营到老。爸爸提议可以开一间经营营养食品的店铺，以专业营养知识售卖养生产品。

而这样的一间店，我在mentakab 看见了。它是间餐馆，售卖有机食品、营养果汁等等。店铺布置得很田园风格，我很喜欢。